What If Community Is God’s Medicine

Pressure has a way of telling the truth. When life presses in from all sides, it reveals what we actually believe, what we’re afraid of, and where we’re still trying to control the outcome. We lean into James 1:2–4 and unpack why Scripture calls trials a “sheer gift” not because pain is fun, but because God uses pressure to build maturity, endurance, and real spiritual strength.

We also share a practical, faith-based wellness habit that changed the way this verse landed for us: writing it out by hand, keeping it visible, and reading it in first person. That small shift turns Bible reading from something we consume into something that shapes our nervous system, our choices, and the way we show up for our people. If you’ve ever read a passage, thought “wow,” and then immediately moved on with your day, this will help you build a steadier rhythm.

From there, the conversation widens into Christian community, vulnerability, and the fear of rejection. We talk about how easy it is to treat relationships as transactional, how assumptions become “rocks in the backpack,” and why honest communication is the path back to trust. We wrap with a powerful reminder: the armor of God is not performative toughness. It’s protection that lets us stay soft, loving, and real while God finishes his work in us.

If you felt encouraged, share this with a friend who needs steady faith under pressure, subscribe for more faith-first conversations, and leave a review so more women can find this community.

Transcript

Vulnerability And Fear Of Rejection

Stephanie 0:02

Because all of a sudden I'm valuing this relationship, and what if I get rejected? So part of being in a community, part of being in a connected, it is there's always the the the you know, it's gonna come with the need to be vulnerable in the fear of, you know, rejection, but we we don't have to live in that fear because if we're busy fearing the Lord and just doing what he says and being who we are, he takes care of the rest. We can absolutely trust it.

Faith Meets Wellness Podcast Welcome

Melissa 0:34

Welcome to the Heart and Soul Elevation Podcast, where faith meets wellness and women learn to live aligned, spirit, mind, and body. We're your hosts, Melissa Holman and Stephanie Pasiokis.

Stephanie 0:47

Two Jesus-loving women passionate about helping you steward your health without losing sight of the one who gave it to you. Around here, healing happens in community. Scripture leads the way, and science simply confirms what God designed.

Melissa 1:02

Let's elevate your heart and soul together.

Monday GYST And Picking A Verse

Melissa 1:07

Every Monday, Stephanie and I get together for a time that we call gist G-Y-S-T. Get your stuff together. And it's a time where we just get together, we share about what God's been doing in our lives, we talk about just how awesome God is and kind of set our goals for the week as far as businessy stuff goes. But it's really more community, connection, and just really getting together. But one of the things that we do is we always come up with a scripture, right? We we look for a scripture that's gonna ground us through whatever it is that that's coming that week. And we never know what's coming in any given week. Am I right?

Stephanie 1:48

Yeah, we just we just know that as we're starting and what little glimpses we have of what we know already. Um, like what's on my calendar already? What's on my calendar, all that, and then what happened the week before, how God showed off and what is in our heart, we sort of have this feeling, you know, what is it that God is calling, you know, to me this week? Is he asking me to trust him? Is he asking me to have patience? Is he asking me to have endurance? What is he asking? And and then inevitably from that, a scripture or two comes out. And and honestly, I'm I'm really it's funny sometimes how we come up with the same one, but in any case, it is funny.

James 1 And Writing It Out

Melissa 2:28

So last week when we met, um it was it, it's just I don't even know, I don't even know the word, but like last week when we met, the scripture that came up for me was James 1, 2 through 4. I like to read in the message version, I like to study in the ESV or the New King James. But when I'm reading, I just like to read the message version because it's in real language, it's written on the page, like it looks like a novel when you're reading it. It doesn't look like you know the two columns of scripture. And um, when I pulled up James one, two through four, it reads, consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith like your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way. So that's James 1, 2 through 4 in the messaged version. And this week, this week, the week that this was my verse, I did something I've never done before. I I normally type it, we type it into a shared Google document. This week I wrote it out in my own handwriting. My own handwriting, cut it, and it's just taped over here on my monitor so that I can read it each day instead of just you know the once a week. Great, I got my verse, moving on with my life.

Stephanie 3:54

And I've been like yeah, I was gonna say, I'm like me, I keep this document open all week and I keep going back to it. But I'm on a computer, I'm digital, and I, you know, we're all different. I love that we're different.

Melissa 4:04

So you wrote it out this time, you stuck it on your desk, and and I've been reading it multiple times each day because it's right there. And when we're talking we've talked about the sensory gating system before, when it's new, when it's something new in your environment, your your brain is like, oh, what's that? So this is a new thing for me. And my brain just keeps going, what is that? And I keep looking at it and I keep reading it. But one of the things that I've done this week, and you've probably done it as well. I mean, they ask us to do it in church a lot, is I changed it to first person. Instead of reading, um, you, you know that under pressure, right? Your faith life. I I changed it to the first person, and I've been reading it that way, even though I've written it, you know, the way that it's written in the message. I've I'm saying it out loud.

Stephanie 4:58

You know, I forget to do that. I don't think I generally do that, and I love it. I love it. I've been doing it. I've been doing it.

Melissa 5:06

So I said, I consider it a sheer gift. And Stephanie and I talked about sheer gift. Sheer could be like all-encompassing, amazing, wonderful, but it can also be like a steep cliff, right? A steep climb, a lot of work, a lot of work. I consider it a sheer gift, friends. When tests and challenges come at me from all sides, I know that under pressure, my faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So I am not trying to get out of anything prematurely, but letting it do its work so that I can become mature and well developed and not dis deficient in any way. And it has been, it has been so and like I it has been such a grounding verse this entire week. And I've actually had an opportunity to share it with multiple clients this week. And I feel that if I hadn't written that out and had it so present in my space here this week, it would have been out the window, right? We read scriptures and then we go, oh, that's nice, and then we get on with our life. I don't know if you do that, but I know I do that, right? And we go, Oh, yeah, that's so profound. Uh-huh. What's for lunch? You know, we just move on. And um, this week having it there has just really, I don't know, been so powerful. And different portions of this verse have been important for the different clients that I met with this week.

Community That Is Not Transactional

Melissa 6:49

So we we come into our all this to say, we come into our morning, Monday morning gist like, how's God moving? What's he doing in my life? What's he doing in my business? How is he showing up? And uh, it's not about me. I mean, I mean, we know that, right? It's not about me. I'm not the center of the universe, and it is all about community and connection. And he used me as a tool this week to share this truth with other people, yeah.

Stephanie 7:21

And I I think also um, just as a highlight, because talking about this week in general, last week we weren't able to meet. It was um just a situation, it was just the the way everything felt, we were able to meet, and it was awful. It was awful in the sense that um I don't I I didn't do it on my own quite the same. And I just kind of there's something to be said about having that community and that connection and and having Christ present with us while we while we work through things and while we act, you know, with our mouths and voices acknowledge all of the wonderful things that he's doing. I did it. I mean, I I went back to it and I and I wrote it down, and it's just different. Um and it just really solidifies for me how important it is that there's someone in your world and in your life that you are connecting with and talking about bigger things with, not just how's the weather, how's so and so, you know, not just the catching up light, fluffy stuff, but but the real deep, nitty gritty things that you're wrestling with stuff, um things that you're grateful, like just the things that you're praying for, the challenges that are coming up, all of it is so um it's so nice, it's so wonderful to have someone to do that with and multiple people, you know, and to know that everybody too.

Melissa 8:59

And to know, right, right. It's more, it's not just one person, right? It's more than one person, and touching different areas of life and knowing that when I show up in a room with you, like we can be real. We don't have to build rapport every time, we don't have to tiptoe around topics, right? Because I know that when I'm with you, it's real, it's not how are you? Oh, I'm fine. Oh, that's great. I'm just finishing my coffee. Yeah, you know, it's it's real. Like we come into the room and we're like, oh my gosh, let me tell you about this. And knowing that you've got that person or those people that you can do that with and cultivating those relationships, right? They don't just happen. This didn't just happen. No, this did not just happen. I mean, we had to build that initial report rapport. We had to, you know, feel around just is this really real?

Stephanie 10:00

Can I really like trust you?

Melissa 10:03

Can I really am I not? Am I not gonna annoy the crap out of this girl? Like so much that she just totally ghosts me.

Stephanie 10:10

Which is which is funny because we both had that fear because you know, I don't know. Did we just we're humans? Um, and we have our own, we carry our own um you know, baggage from life, you know, and we have our insecurities and we know who we are in Christ, but it's like, well, still, is this this other person may not be this, you know, it was just it's just amazing. Um, and now I I'm not even worried that I'm gonna annoy you. It's just I'm it's I'm I'm what you see is what you get, you're what you see is what you get. I trust it.

Melissa 10:44

Yeah, but it was funny though, because in the beginning, both of us were like, I don't know. And there's so many, I think there's a lot of reasons behind the the way that we felt that. Um, and one of them being many times to have a relationship like this, it's transactional. Many times to have that relationship where you can show up and share your insecurities and share the things that you're struggling with, it's transactional. Meaning, like I'm paying for the privilege of being in the room with someone who will listen to me.

Stephanie 11:25

Yeah, I mean, that's very much the case. I mean, and to be honest, as coaches, right, that is often the case where that is our profession. And so our mind defaults to that. And maybe not everybody's does, but I mean, even truly in in America, everything's a transaction. You go to your therapist, you go to your doctor, you go to, and we, you know, even with friends, you know, sometimes it feels like, oh, I I had a I had a a dear, dear friend. I hadn't heard from her in a while. And she called me the other day, um, because her her daughter and my daughter are our besties for life. And uh her, you know, her daughter just spent a few days here. Um and and uh she called. I was like, oh, this is great. And and um she had felt bad after the last time we were together because she felt that she was so doom and gloom. There's a lot of stuff going on. We sometimes crap hits the fan. I mean, I was there for a couple for over a year with my house falling apart left and right and getting fixed and chaos, and my mother passing away, and my daughter's baby being born and my house being renovated and my car dying. All of this happened all in the same year. And I it was it was just a lot. And I felt like I probably wasn't terribly great company, even though I did my best. I was definitely persevering and enduring. God was definitely bringing me through some some really great lessons. But um, this person felt like she couldn't be a good friend because she was so um, she was just in such a a place. And I was like, well, that's not the basis of our relationship. Where this isn't about you, like we're not here to be fair weather friends. This is we've known each other for 20 years at this point. Why in the world would would we suddenly, I mean, more than 20 years. Oh my goodness, it's closer to 25. What in the world would make you think, you know, and I and I and I realized, okay, this is as much me. I I I want to be better at just saying, let's, you know, because there have been times in my life where I was a miserable wreck with her, and it was just every time we talked, I was like, you know, and she was there. And you know, we get to do that, and it doesn't have to be a transaction. I think that's the most important thing we forget in real life, as as um, you know, Christians with Christians in our family, like we there's not oh yeah, I don't have more words.

Melissa 14:06

I'm over here nodding along because I've had similar experiences, right? Where uh a friend reached out to me and she's like, Are you mad at me about something? I'm like, no. Well, this happened and this happened and this happened. And I'm like, Oh, I remember what it was. I didn't invite her to something. And I said, Well, I didn't think that that was something that you would enjoy, which is why I didn't invite you because you've never expressed that that was something you would enjoy. I know the other things you enjoy, and I would absolutely invite you to those things, but this was more girly girly, and you and I don't have a girly-girly relationship, so I just I didn't invite you. But her, you know, she felt like she was being left out, like there was something wrong, like I she'd made me angry or something. And it wasn't the case, right? It wasn't the case at all, but that because of that transactional feeling, yeah. Right. I have to give something to get something. Yeah, something to get something, and making assumptions, right? Well, I guess I should have invited her, but then she said, No, I wouldn't have enjoyed that.

Stephanie 15:17

Right, but you yeah, you assumed that she wouldn't have enjoyed it, but it's this, you know, and then her expectation like this is the thing, and this is what it all comes back to is we are all carrying baggage and expectations. And sometimes those expectations are of ourselves, sometimes they're other other people, sometimes it's those that we perceive other people have of us. And every single expectation, when it's in our head, is a rock in the backpack on our shoulders. It doesn't affect anybody else. And and and we're just and nobody could like we're not all like, you know, we don't have ESP, we don't have extra, we don't, we can't read each other's minds, we don't have telepathy. Nobody knows what's in the bag on your back, you know. So what do we do?

Melissa 16:02

We have commute community, connection, communication, communication, communication and having a good enough relationship with her to be able to say, Oh, I didn't think you would enjoy something like that.

Stephanie 16:14

So I guess and and being vulnerable. And that is the thing that you and I, if we circle around to the beginning, when we first started talking to them, am I gonna annoy them? Am I gonna because all of a sudden I'm valuing this relationship? And what if I get rejected? So part of being in a community, part of being in a connected, it is there's always the the the you know, it's gonna come with the need to be vulnerable and the fear of you know rejection, but we we don't have to live in that fear because if we're busy fearing the Lord and just doing what he says and being who we are, he takes care of the rest. We can absolutely trust it. And

Armor Of God And Let It Work

Stephanie 16:54

and part of it is is not not um, you know, as my my once upon a time now now graduating uh high school, but when she was in middle school, you know, lots of stuff happens during that time and kids can get really mean. And and and I was just like, you know, you know, you gotta, you just gotta be a a tough cookie, you know, and and a few days later at dinner she goes, I don't think I'm a tough cookie. I think I'm a soft taco. And I think that we have to, we have to, we have to say, you know, we can put on the armor of God, right? We we can we can do that. And and and which is totally different. We can have love and be soft and be vulnerable, but know we're protected, right? And know that we'll grow.

Melissa 17:47

And putting on the armor of God is completely different than putting on your big girl panties. It is, right? It is. I don't have to put on my big girl panties, I don't even own any big girl panties, right? It's like it's the armor of God, just like you're saying. That's what's gonna and that allows me to be vulnerable because I know that I'm still protected, even though I keep thinking of my dog laying on her back, exposing her very vulnerable belly. And she does that because she trusts me.

Stephanie 18:23

And we can't always fully trust other other people. Um I mean, you know, we're all in the church human, we're all in our own walk, we're all in our different places in our walk, and we all have again those expectations and whatever. But but again, if we if we if we have the armor of God, if we're approaching everybody with love, if we if we ask God, show everybody, you know, to me how you see them, how you love them, you know, and and allow everybody to be where they are, and um, you know, speak love into their lives when God asks. And I think that um that is the most important thing. And I I love this conversation. It's kind of gone to a lot of places. We started out with just the fact that you and I commit three hours a week at minimum to one another, to start our week with faith first. And that is that is what we are about. We are about faith first, and and that sets the stage for us starting our day every day with our with our prayers, with our faith first, before we do anything else, and letting God do his work, and asking God to do his work, and asking God to do his work, and in fact, asking God to make sure that I don't get in my own darn way, yes, right? Which is part of my prayer. Like, God, I'm kind of stupid.

Melissa 19:55

So uh yes, for as brilliant as we both are, right? Yeah, as brilliant, I'm yeah, not patting our back. Still get in my way, still get in my way all the time. Yeah. And but just taking taking everything as it comes, right? Taking everything as it comes. And I loved the way that the message says this, not trying to get out of anything prematurely.

Stephanie 20:19

I was just gonna say that one again. I just pulled it back up to mention it again. See, it looks same page.

Melissa 20:24

Not to get out of things prematurely. Because how many times do we pray, oh God, take this away, take it away, take it away, take it away? But it's there to it's there to perform a purpose in us.

Stephanie 20:38

Listen, you don't want to take a pot roast out of the oven prematurely. No, it's gonna suck.

Melissa 20:43

Yeah, it's gonna be really bad.

Stephanie 20:45

It's gonna be tough and it's not gonna be good.

Melissa 20:47

Yeah. Yeah. And just allowing allowing God to do his work. Because I don't want to be deficient. In any way.

Share Subscribe And Join YouTube

Melissa 21:00

Thanks for joining us for today's conversation on heart and soul elevation. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to share it with a friend. Remember that healing happens in community. Be sure to subscribe for more faith-first conversations. And if you're desiring more community, come join us over on YouTube where we grow together in real time. Until then, keep your eyes on Jesus, care for the body he gave you, and may his peace guard your heart and mind.